Okay, so I said it: I'm pro-LIFE. In birth activist, VBAC, women's rights, maternity world this is almost a curse word. I say almost because there are many birth activists, childbirth educators, doulas, midwifes, and doctors out here who are pro-life however it seems like they are very hard to find.
I've been pro-life for a while. I actually hadn't made up my mind so firmly on the issue when I became a Christian. It happened when I got pregnant with my first child and my stance on the issue has firmed up since.
I have also come to the following conclusions related to birth and parenting which differ from the majority of people who share my passion for all things maternity and birth:
- Breast is best, but formula is okay: Breastfeeding should be encouraged and supported however if a mother needs or wants to formula feed either supplementally or completely she should be made to feel guilty and we should support this option. I have much sensitivity over this matter as I was not able to successfully breastfeed either of my children and felt badgered and guilt-tripped by my friends who were gung-ho breastfeeding advocates. I really wish our society would not be so weirded out by breastfeeding and I wish it would become the norm, and I FULLY support breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocates, however I'm not at all for making women feel bad about their choice to use formula. We really need to stop making women (and especially mothers) feel so guilty. They do that on their own.
- I'm not into Attachment Parenting: I thought I was when I had my first child as I wanted her to know how much I loved her. I tried to pay special attention to her every need. However, I had no desire to carry her around on my body all day. I did hold her A LOT. I also felt it was okay for her to cry, just a little, in calming down to go to sleep. And now that I have TWO kids I realize it's just not possible to dout over each of the kids in the way I originally thought I'd want to. I also realize that sometimes a 3 or 4 year old needs a spanking if they are absolutely being defiant. I AM the parent and there WILL be respect and order. I know this sounds harsh to some, but if you know me you know that I'm one of the most sensitive and compassionate people out there and love my children very much so. I agree with some parts of attachment parenting, but I, myself am not an attachment parent and I don't think that's the only okay way to raise a child. Strollers and bottles and even,yes, occasional spanking is what has kept me sane.
- My children will not die if they don't eat all the right foods and occasionally watch tv: I can spot a new parent of only one child because they have to do everything the RIGHT way: cloth diapers, Baby Einstein videos, making their own organic baby food, continous baby-wearing, trying to early-potty train, teaching colors and numbers to an infant, making sure they read to their child 1 hour a day, etc,etc. There is nothing wrong with these things, in fact, some of them are quite good, and many parents of more than one child continue in these things. However, I could not. For my sanity. And I think we need to be less child-focused and more family-focused. This is not neglecting the child but teaching them that the world revolves around their family, not them. wow, reading this from my former one-child self really sounds harsh, however I mean it in a loving way. We mothers just need to chill-out and not feel guilty. Do our best with what we know and our kids will turn out fine.
- There is a personal God.
- He gives and takes away life.
“Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.” (Job 1:20)
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.” (Job 1:20)
And for the most part I don't think we should interfere with His giving and taking away of life. I'm sort of a pacifist so I don't really like war and I don't like the death penalty. However, I realize there is a time and place for war in order for a people to protect themselves or to protect the innocent. There is such a thing called evil and there are people who must be stopped before they harm innocent people.
That's just what I think of unborn fetuses- innocent people. I am for women's rights, completely. I'm for people's rights in general. It hurts me to see people treated unfairly or to see a people oppressed. However, a woman's right does not trump a unborn child's life. They, to me, are considered equal. I might even make the case that the child's life is possibly to be protected more because they have no way to defend themselves and are more innocent.
I also believe that all people are created equal under God. He makes them, and He decides their value. It pisses me off that public health groups and Planned Parenthood encourage abortions. Most abortions are performed on blacks and hispanics. I don't understand why their isn't an outrage against this as the future of many black and hispanics are being aborted. Or aborting babies who are likely to have a disability. Why are we trying to get rid of our undesirables? It is sad, because God desires every one of them.
So, we take away abortion, we take away a part of women's rights (or options). I'm all for liberty, freedom makes my heart sing. I have freedom in Christ to do anything. However there are things I can do that would not be good for me or for another person. And there are things I could do that would just be plain evil. I have the freedom to do them, but ought not to: adultery, murder, stealing, lying, etc. There are huge consequences to these things.
As there are with abortion. Huge physical, emotional, and spiritual consequences. Not only that, but what kind of a society do we become when we don't protect our most innocent?
That's my rant. That's why I'm pro-life. Here are some people who are into birth who are also pro-life:
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